My dearest Edwina,
Tonight, as you and Nathan slumber, my heart is filled with anguish. I hope that you will both understand and forgive me for what I have decided I must do. By the time you read this, I will be gone.
I will never be the man that you want me to be, the husband and father that you and Nathan deserve.
Maybe it’s my upbringing. Maybe it’s just that my genes got screwed up. I don’t know. But the events of the last day have showed amply that I don’t have the strength of character to raise up a family in a manner befitting a responsible adult.
I say all this to my shame.
I will love you always, truly and deeply. But I fear that if I stay, I would only bring bad trouble on the heads of you and Nathan Jr. I feel this thunder gathering even now. If I leave, hopefully, it will leave with me.
I cannot tarry. Better I should go, send you money, and let you curse my name.
Your loving –
Herbert
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Thanks for posting this. I was trying to think of some memorably great scenes in cinema where you get to hear the character's thoughts, and the internet led me here. Raising Arizona has always been a favorite, and getting to revisit this monologue in full is way better than just trying to remember it. Thanks again.